And that's why it works.

Mentoring is widely recognised as valuable. Yet somewhere along the way, it has become overcomplicated. Too often, mentoring is treated as a single, formal, long‑term commitment that people sign up to without being clear about what they need or what success should look like.

In my experience, the most powerful mentoring works differently. It is intentional, specific, and often time‑limited. Mentoring is most effective when it is used to address a clear gap, rather than as a vague, open‑ended relationship.

When I work with leaders, I often ask a simple question: “Who are your mentors?” I always encourage people to have more than one. No single person can provide everything you need at every stage of your career. A mentor is also very different from a coach. Coaching focuses on drawing answers out of you; mentoring draws on someone else’s experience to guide and accelerate your learning.

The real value of mentoring comes when it is purposeful. You identify an area where you feel out of your depth, or where you know you could grow faster, and you actively seek out someone who excels in that space.

I once coached a female CEO who had been unexpectedly promoted after the sudden death of her predecessor. She found herself leading an organisation without any female role models around her and felt deeply unsure of herself. I asked whether there was a female CEO she admired, even if she didn’t know them personally. She immediately named Karren Brady. What followed was an act of courage: she reached out. And remarkably, Karren Brady said yes. The mentoring was not indefinite or loosely defined; it was exactly what she needed at that moment in her career, and it made a tangible difference. 

I have done the same myself. When I realised my writing could be stronger, I didn’t wait for it to improve by chance. I sought out someone whose thinking and writing I admired and asked Cath Bishop if she would mentor me for six months. Not forever, and not without focus. I wanted to understand how she structures ideas, thinks, and writes with such clarity and impact. She agreed, and that clarity of purpose shaped every conversation we had. 

One of the most important questions to bring into any mentoring relationship is this: why this person, why now, and for what? When you can answer those questions, mentoring becomes focused and productive. Conversations have direction, sessions have structure, and progress can be measured. Without that clarity, mentoring can easily drift.

That said, not all mentoring needs to be tightly defined from the outset. Sometimes people seek a mentor because they are ambitious but uncertain about what comes next. In those cases, mentoring can help create direction, not just deliver it. This is also where mentoring can help you gain perspective and clarity when the path ahead isn’t yet obvious. What matters is being honest about what you need at that point in time.

Another misconception is that mentoring must be long‑term to be valuable. In reality, some of the most impactful mentoring relationships are short, focused, and highly effective. While some evolve into longer connections, they do not need to begin that way. And often, the most memorable mentoring leaves a lasting sense of gratitude and fondness, not because of its length, but because of its impact.

Within organisations, mentoring has an additional dimension. It is not only about development, but also visibility. Mentoring builds relationships, expands networks, and increases the number of people who understand who you are, what you can do, and where you want to go. That visibility matters.

If you are unsure where to begin, start simply. Ask yourself where you could be better — not critically, but honestly. Then ask who is genuinely excellent in that area. That is your starting point.

Mentoring is not about fixing you. It is about accelerating your growth, helping you step into spaces that might otherwise take years. And when it is approached with intention, clarity, and courage, it can be one of the most powerful tools for growth there is.

Don’t be afraid to ask. The biggest barrier to mentoring is often hesitation, not opportunity. If someone has the capacity to help, they often will. And even if they say no, you are no worse off than before you asked.

Amanda Brown is a Master Coach and NLP Master Practitioner helping women create confident, fulfilling lives. She runs The Upgrade Club and is the author of The LIPSTICK Principles.